A post about things I like.

I hope you all had a very merry Christmas and will have a happy New Year!

WARNING: This post contains spoilers for Doctor Who: The Time of the Doctor (Christmas special) and Frozen, as well as excessive amounts of nerdiness and fangirling.

I have some things that I have been bursting to say. No complete explanations will be provided. :)

1. Doctor Who: The Time of the Doctor.

I really liked the Christmas special this year. He stayed for Christmas! Because they needed him! It was quite silly at first, which was a bit nice because eleven was the silly one. I was confused about Clara's family, but whatever. Family is confusing. The saddest part of this episode for me wasn't the regeneration or that he stayed for Christmas or his speech (although that and the taking off of the bow tie left me shaking and in tears).
The saddest part was that he got old.
The Doctor aged. He aged visibly, and physically, and emotionally. Obviously he was already old - 1300 or so! - but this time he got OLD. He got frail. He couldn't walk. He forgot people's names, faces. He had a limp, a lisp, grey hair. That scared me. The Doctor, the one who can never be caught, the madman with a box, became vulnerable. And if the Doctor is vulnerable, then no one is safe. And that hurt.

2. Foreign movies.

SO. Recently, I've accidentally watched two very-much-not-English movies. Netflix persuaded me they were good, and by the time I found out they were in a different language I was too involved to stop.
I am so glad I did not stop.
Winter in Wartime (Dutch) was excellent. Not what I expected. So good. I stopped breathing three times.
Mother of Mine (Finnish/Swedish) was also excellent. Just so perfect.
These films were so emotional, so involving, so deep, that I couldn't stop watching. It seemed to me that there was very little dialogue in comparison to English films (there were good subtitles - thanks Netflix), and SO MUCH emotion was conveyed through sighs, or glances, or silent moments.
And I realised how much I do not listen to movies, even English ones.
I had to intently watch these movies in order to catch all the subtitles, and I could hear so much emotion in their voices. I could figure out exactly what was going on by their tone, their volume, just their voices. It was amazing.
Seriously, if you ever have time, go find some foreign movies to watch.

3. Frozen.

Frozen. Frozen, frozen, frozen. At first I wasn't going to go see it (I thought it would be a dumb story about a snowman and a reindeer) but no! Tumblr convinced me to go see it and by god am I glad I did. Started with a musical number (sold). Musical numbers throughout just like the original Disneys (sold). Princess story (sold). It started out so happy and then it got so sad so fast I could actually feel my heart breaking. I hurt so much for Elsa, who loved her sister so much but couldn't be with her, for Anna, who was all alone and didn't know why, and their parents, who had one lonely daughter with a secret that she couldn't control and another lonely daughter who knew nothing and could know nothing. "Do you wanna build a snowman?" (Musical number 2 - I CAN'T STOP SINGING IT BUT IT'S SO SAD AND I CAN STILL FEEL MY HEART BREAKING JUST DURING THAT SONG ACTUALLY EVERY SINGLE WORD IN THAT SONG BREAKS MY HEART). Then it's coronation day! Elsa is so scared and Anna is so excited (I've figured that Anna is my spirit animal) and they're so awkward and it's so sad because it shouldn't have to be like that! It should be happy! BUT! IT! ISN'T! And then Hans comes in (another sweet number) and I'm like hey, love story, okey-dokie cool and then they're going to get married but they can't and everything gets exciting right then because Elsa goes and does her music on the mountain and Hans is left in charge and it seems like he's such a good guy but turns out he isn't! What! When Kristoff came in I was confused cause like there already was one guy what's this guy doing here and he's no Prince Charming he's awesome but he takes Anna and MORE EMOTION which is when I realised it was based off the Snow Queen which I loved when I was little and MORE MUSIC which is never ever ever ever ever ever a bad thing and then back to the castle bam! Anna needs true love to save her (I kinda sighed but okay, princess, cute) but it turns out Hans was evil all along and Olaf says 'Some people are worth melting for' YEAH THANKS FOR MELTING ANY ICE THAT WAS LEFT IN MY HEART THEN STOMPING ON IT and Kristoff loves her (saw that one coming) but hey, that's cute, at least it wasn't completely traditional and Elsa's about to die and Anna saves her! And then dies! And I'm like what! That wasn't supposed to happen! But then! BUT THEN! That was the act of true love Anna needed! It was family love! And! Not! Traditional! Princess! Love! It! Was! True! Love! So Anna saved herself by saving her sister and that broke me because I wasn't expecting that! And I loved it! And then Elsa stopped fighting her powers and they became close again and OH! MY! GOD! I! CAN'T! BELIEVE! HOW! MUCH! I! COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY! ADORED! THIS! MOVIE!!!!!!

This is way too late...but it's almost Christmas!

Well, not really, but it's Christmas month! Woohoo!

Anyway, I bring to you the last twelve days (hey, twelve days of Christmas!) of the diabetes month photo challenge. Sorry, I got behind. And lost motivation.

Day 19: Hypoglycemia

Hypoglycemia. That shaking, pale feeling that seizes you as soon as your blood sugar drops below 4.0. This is what happens - I'm so shaky, so uncoordinated, that I can't open packages properly. And those pull tabs on Dex bottles? Forget it! These ShotBlok packages get ripped apart, the blocks themselves get nailmarks in them, and sometimes I want to scream because I can't get it out fast enough. Lows suck.

 

Day 20: Needle

Needles. Ah. Fun. I don't use these anymore, because I'm on the pump, but I was on needles for seven months. I still have a lot for emergency purposes and also because we have nowhere for them to go. I never used syringes, because I started right off with the pen. The blue-tab needles where what I used everyday - a while after my diagnosis. As you can imagine, giving yourself a needle is quite a daunting task, and really scary among everything else that was happening. The top picture was our solution. It's a pen needle with a cap that covers the needle - as you press it against the site the needles goes in but you don't have to look at it going it. Pretty awesome. Of course, right after I bought an entire box, I got my pump. But they did help a lot, ESPECIALLY when I was just starting.

 

Day 21: Free Food

Aw, yeah. Bringing this back. It was free. It was sweet. It was great.

 

Day 22: Endocrinologist

 

I don't have a picture here, but I love my endocrinologist. I guess I really have two - my actual endo from the mainland and my local pediatrician. They're both too awesome for words. Clinic next week! Aw yeah! (Also they really like me and my numbers, so that's great.) And they're the ones I'm going to ask about WHY MY SITES HURT SO MUCH RECENTLY. Story on that farther down. See Day 25.

 

Day 23: Weakness

The kids I babysit/volunteer with. Teddy bears. Disney. Candy. (I've been eating way too much of that lately). Cookies. I have a lot of weaknesses. But something that has been a weakness of mine since I was five...

Books. I'm a sucker for stories. This book in particular is a) the perfect size to i) read in bed ii) hug to your chest iii) hold up and read and b) is an amazing book that you should go find and read right away goodness me I don't think I've read such a great book since I was eight. (Also it's nice to see a war story from the germans' POV - that's something I've wanted for a while. And the narration/narrator is awesome. And it's going to be a movie soon. With Geoffrey Rush. YEEHA)

 

Day 24: Hyperglycemia

I don't suffer a lot from hyperglycemia. That is to say, high blood sugars don't usually affect me other than annoy me. Sometimes I get overtired and hungry, but nothing too awful. That being said, I've only had 2 blood sugars since my diagnosis that were higher than my diagnosis number. Which was only 26. So I like to think that I'm just in control.

 

Day 25: Favourite Injection Site

Right thigh. That bump in my leggings is my site, not a malformation. Worry not. XD I love my thigh because it never hurts*, I can do anything with a site there (it's never in the way), and it almost never gets in the way of what I want to wear. (Leggings=exception. I don't care enough. Yeah, I have diabetes. Yeah, I wear a pump. Problem? ;) ) I prefer my right because, for some reason, the first four times I injected into my left, I got a)bruises, b)pain, c) blood, and d) discomfort. It's usually fine now, but I'm right-handed so it's easier when my pump is on my right side.

* My sites have been hurting a LOT lately. My mum thinks it's cause I've been working out and have less fat (although it certainly doesn't feel that way!), but I think it's more. I don't know. It's weird. I really don't like it. Right now it's in my thigh (as I've said), which NEVER EVER EVER hurts - I usually put it there when my sites have been sensitive recently. It didn't hurt going in like the others did - but when I brush past it, I can feel it. When I bolus, I can feel it. Even now, when I'm sitting doing nothing, I can feel it. It's not a good feel. I don't like it.

 

Day 26: Social Media/Blog

Tumblr. Undoubtedly the best place on the internet. Fandom stuff, not-fandom stuff (lots of hilarious diabetic stuff too) - it's just great. And this site counts as social media AND blog! Woohoo!

(Although, if any of you ever look at my tumblr without permission, we are no longer friends. Clear? XD)

 

 

Day 27: Diet

Celery. The green sticks. 1 carb per stick, tasty, goes with any dressing - you just can't lose. It makes up most of my lunches these days. (I'm not dieting, I'm just eating healthier, and I suppose healthy eating could fit under the diet category.) Although, I'm not going to lie, I have been having my fair share of candy and cookies. Ah well, it's almost Christmas. :)

 

Day 28: Thankful

I'm thankful for a lot of things. (Although Thanksgiving was two months ago, AMERICA.)

Family. Friends. Health. Money. Skills. Opportunities. Capabilities. Education.

I have a lot - and I'm grateful for all of it.

Something I'm very grateful for is Bubbles here. I understand that not everyone can afford a pump - and I hope that the government will begin paying for adults' pumps. (Partially because frankly, as a college student to-be, I don't want to pay $7000 for anything.)

Bubbles helps regulate my blood sugars, makes blousing easier, and makes diabetes just a thing that I have to deal with rather than a 'BIG DEAL'.

That's as far as I'm going to go, because Thanksgiving was TWO MONTHS AGO, AMERICA.

 

Day 29: Strength

I am strong.

I can do a weight routine with 2 5lb weights.

I can do Jazzercise twice a week without fail.

I can smile every day, poke my finger, bolus, every. single. day.

I can be a role model.

I can be who I am -

And sometimes that takes all the strength I have.

 

Day 30: Future

I don't know what the future holds, but I am determined that I will take everything into my stride and live the BEST life that anyone's ever had.

Lots of stories for these ones. :)

Sorry, I'm late. I dyed my hair blue on WDD (well, kind of) and life has kinda been weird since then. (I'm kidding. I chalked blue into my hair, successfully got it to stay on everything except my hair, and I've just been lazy and forgetful). I'm knitting Christmas presents; can you really blame me?
A few things:
- Happy Birthday, Dad!
- Last night my pump battery died. Like, DIED. It alarmed Low Battery at 10:56 (I know, I know, I meant to be asleep by then), so I locked it and said I'd deal with it in the morning. Well, this morning I check my blood sugar - 15.3. Whaaaaat??? I clicked over to my pump, meaning to unlock it and question the high - no response. Click, click, click, press...nope. So I'm kinda freaking out, because even when the battery DIES it alarms annoyingly saying 'replace battery to silence alarm'. Over and over and over again. But this time it didn't. I wouldn't be worried, but this is how I killed Little Buddy. Also the date and time had reverted back to 12 am January 2007. (Why 2007, Animas?). I think it's fine, I changed the battery and the history and everything was still intact, but I'm still a little worried. I guess we'll find out in 6 weeks or so whether this actually impacted it. :)
-Also I saw an owl yesterday! He was GORGEOUS and HUGE and he let me get really close for a picture! It's a great picture! I love having a cameraphone! Owls are also really scary when they look at you because it feels like they're going to swoop down and carry you away!
-And, AND, later today, my meter batteries died. And I had no extra. NOT a good day for batteries.

And now, The Weather.

(Sorry, couldn't resist. You should listen to Welcome to Night Vale. You might like it. I'm not even sure if I like it, but it's tons of fun.)

 Day 12: Glucose

These are my glucose tabs. Dex4. (Because they're made of Dextrose and they have 4 carbs! Get it? Get it?) Everyone hates on them, but I really quite like them. The fruit punch ones are my favourite, but they're not sold everywhere and when I run out unexpectedly I usually end up with these. Most of the time they're okay, but there's those odd lows that screw up my taste and make them taste like salad dressing. The fruit punch ones taste like candy though. (Even though there's a pineapple on the front, which I hate).

 

Day 13: Struggle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I got to go to the beach today in the rain. I don't think I've ever felt so good. It was calm, serene, and I was so happy.

Being there, hearing the waves crashing onto the rocks, hearing the rocks be pulled into the ocean with the tide, really made me think of my struggles. Almost all the time I'm okay, but sometimes I feel like that one rock that can't control where it's going, drowning in water, being pushed and pulled through life with no say in the matter. The waves crash over my head, sometimes pulling me, but sometimes reaching, reaching, reaching, but never quite touching. Struggle is hard. Most of the time I'm okay, most of the time those waves keep reaching but never touch, but sometimes I fall and they grab hold of me. Eventually I regain my place and I'm okay again. Sometimes you have to let yourself lose control.

 

Day 14: Support #WDD

This is my blue circle necklace. I was really excited when I found it last year, seeing as a blue circle is the symbol of diabetes month. I wore my diabetic shirt (Does this shirt make me look diabetic?), blue everything (pants, socks, nail polish, earrings...) and I chalked a strand of hair blue. Of course at the end of the day everything EXCEPT my hair was blue (especially the shower water, my goodness), but it's the thought that counts.

 

Day 15: Diabuddies

What is a diabuddy? A diabuddy is someone you can rely on, someone you can trust, someone who understands every little thing you feel when it comes to diabetes. A diabuddy is someone who will wear ridiculous matching shirts, someone who will get you a juicebox (and stare longingly at it the entire time you're drinking it), someone who will understand your ridiculous jokes, will laugh hysterically with you when you're low (Capture the flag!!!), someone who will be there for you, someone who will be your dead pancreas buddy (DPB) and will volunteer to take the garbage out with you (Shakespeare!). Sometimes you connect instantly, sometimes it takes a little while. But it always works, you're always buddies, and you're sure you'll be buddies for the rest of your life. (Hey Z, you gotta get out here sometime! Also I wish I could go to camp again!)

 

Day 16: Hero/Heroine

I have a lot of heroines. My mum. My teachers. My Guiding friends. Jennifer Lawrence. (Seriously, go see how great she is.) Maybe these people are more idols than heroes though. Is anyone a hero, really?

But Kerri Sparling, of SixUntilMe, is my heroine. Her blog is one of the few constants in my life - I read it every day and it's a favourite page on all my devices. Her ability to form thoughts into words (stars into constellations) is incredible, and I hope one day I'll be as much of an advocate as she is. I'm too shy to ever tell her this through her blog or email or anything, so I'll just respect and idolize her from afar. You know when you imagine meeting a celebrity, how you'll react, whether you'll choose autograph, picture or handshake; how you get excited whenever you learn that they've been in your country; how you make every word they say your motto. Yeah. She's my celebrity, my dream, my heroine.

 

Day 17: Research

I forgot to take a picture. (Insert sciency image here). Honestly, right now (and actually most of the time) I'd rather they found a cure for cat allergies rather than diabetes. Although they have made some giant, awesome leaps in diabetes research. One of my other dreams (I have quite a few related to diabetes) is to participate in a clinical trial either for an external pancreas, new medication, whatever. That would be great.

 

Day 18: Biohazard

I love this symbol. I love that for four years I've known it on every science quiz, I've been the first to know what it is and what it means. I see it every day (well, at least every time I remember to safely dispose of my needles XD) on this garish yellow container stored beneath the bathroom sink. I really don't take it as seriously as I should. Biohazard? Yeah, I can touch that.

Pictures speak a thousand words. (Maybe not quite a thousand, but a lot).

It's been more than three days. My apologies. I've been staying up much too late recently and become less and less motivated to post. I'll fix that. Anyway...

Day 7: Pre-diagnosis

This is LONG before the days of diabetes, when Halloween was just a day for free candy and every day was easy (-er than it is now). I'm about six in this picture, and I had no idea that six years minus fifteen days later my life would change forever.

 

Day 8: Diagnosis

This teddy bear right here. He's the best. (Yes, I know it's 'just a teddy', okay?) I'm sixteen, and I'm not ashamed to say that I still sleep with a  bed full of teddy bears. This guy was my support for those hospital days - I cried into his fur, hugged him through the needles, and squeezed him tight when I needed a hug. I've had him since I was a baby - and when I was diagnosed, I got a new teddy bear (a gorgeous golden retriever) - and this guy is the best. He's still soft, still fluffy, still huggable. He's the best hugger there is, the best support, and I can't believe he's been with me for SIXTEEN years. One of the only constants in my life. I love him :)

(Teddy bears mean a lot to me, and if you think that's juvenile or lame, whatever. They're part of my life, and I love them.)

  

Day 9: Bolus-worthy

 Ah, yes. The slushie. Frozen pop, available for purchase at most gas stations. An occasional treat, and delicious! Definitely worth the five units it cost. (Also this particular slushie was free because the gas station guy appreciated that we cleaned up the small mess we made. Tells you something about the kids in my town, huh?)

 

Day 10: Low treatment

This is my glucose-tab holder. It's usually empty, because right after I fill it up I use them. It's the zipper pull on my glucometer, so I always have it. If I could just remember to fill it up...

Also, it is NOT a contact lens case. I am SO SICK of that question.

 

Day 11: Med-alert

Mah bracelet! It's a bit tarnished right now because it hasn't quite recovered from its chlorine bath (swimming pool). Although it says Allergic to cats on the back (which is true, but nowhere near bad enough to warrant a MEDICAL BRACELET, MOM (love you), and it makes everyone laugh, so that's cool), I've been wearing it for four years. My grandparents bought it for me (because the free one is not the prettiest thing you've ever seen) and I really like it. It's simple, but pretty, too, and I've actually received quite a few compliments on it as a bracelet - so I don't mind wearing it every day :) It's also become a habit to wear it, so it feels really weird on the rare occasions that I wear my necklace instead. I don't think I've worn that since Mexico. And that was three years ago. Huh.

It always goes on my left wrist, because I'm right-handed and it gets in the way. It's been through a lot - paint, chlorine, pottery wheels (that was particularly nasty)...but it's survived. And it keeps me safe. So really it's a win-win-win kinda thing.

Thrice is nice.

Three is a good number. Instead of posting every day (because honestly I lack the motivation to post every day), I think I shall post three pictures every three days. So, here are the next three.

Day 4: A1c

A drop of blood. That's all it takes to tell me the average of my blood sugars over the last three months. That's pretty impressive. My last A1c was 7.3, which is not as low as I'd like it, nor is it as awesome as it has been in the past. However, this was my first clinic since Europe, and my only goal in Europe was to avoid lows. Ergo, higher A1c. Also, it's ridiculous that such a small drop of blood and one number can be considered our 'grade' on how well we're doing. It's not. It's an average of our blood sugars. And sure, sometimes it's higher or lower than we'd like, but it's not a grade. It's just an average. Healthy? Happy? That's all the grade you need.

Day 5: Insulin

(I didn't actually have any open vials, and as before mentioned, I lack the necessary motivation to find one.) 3 mL in a vial. That's 300 units. That's how I survive for 75 days. But it's so, so small. And this box? This box has 1500 units in it. That's only 15 mL. Not even enough for a sip of water. But so, SO important.













Day 6: Big Blue Test
I've never done the Big Blue Test. I keep meaning to, and keep meaning to, and then I forget, and also I don't exercise as much as I probably should. Also I'm shy, and don't get involved in big diabetes things (but I really, really should.) Therefore, no picture today. Sorry. :)

Ketchup!

Sorry, I got distracted. School and sleepovers and babysitting...anyway. I'm here now.
This month I'm going to attempt a photo challenge that I found on tumblr...the Diabadass challenge. :)

Here's the challenge:

And here's what I've done with it for the first three days (sorry they're not on time):

Day 1 - Selfie

This is my face. It's alright. :)

Day 2 - Pump or injections?

Pump. This is Bubbles, my Animas Ping. I love him.

 

Day 3 - Glucometer

Aaaaand...this is my glucometer. He does not have a name. I wish he had a LED screen. Yes, there are lots of test strips, because it requires a lot of effort to clean those out. That smiley face keychain on the left means a lot to me; it was given to me by one of my Sparks last year who moved away. It reminds me to smile, to keep a positive attitude, that no one is ever too far away, that there's a silver lining to everything, and to remember that childhood is fleeting and it's my job to help the Sparks make the most of it :)

 

There you go. First three days, all in one! I'll try to keep up from now on. ;)

It's Halloween!

Which means tomorrow is November 1st! (On a Halloween note, I can't wait until I have kids. They are gonna get DRESSED up.)

November is National Diabetes Awareness Month (NDAM). :) I'm not wearing blue every day again this year because, fun as that was, I REALLY missed my pink.

I am going to paint and keep my nails blue for the duration of the month, and of course I'll go all out blue on the 14th! (And my blue circle necklace! Woo!) (And I think I'll do blue Fridays as well. But not tomorrow because tomorrow is pajama day and imam be all out Welsh!)

I'm going to try and post here every day, or AT LEAST once every couple days.

I'm going to reach out, talk about diabetes, read other blogs, maybe link this blog to facebook or tumblr...

The JDRF 6th annual video contest was announced! The theme is 'Diabetes by numbers'. It's gonna be good. I have lots of ideas, and I'm stoked! I'll find a song early this year...

Tomorrow is November. It may be Movember as well, but it was Diabetes Month first. (I really hate that both causes have the same colour. Guys, there's twelve months in a year. Really?)

Have an awesome first day of diabetes awareness month. :)