(Diabetes Blog Week) What they should know.

Today's prompt: Today let’s borrow a topic from a #dsma chat held last September. The tweet asked “What is one thing you would tell someone that doesn’t have diabetes about living with diabetes?”. Let’s do a little advocating and post what we wish people knew about diabetes. Have more than one thing you wish people knew? Go ahead and tell us everything.

One thing that I wish people knew about diabetes is that you DON'T get used to it.

That's something I hear a lot. "Doesn't that hurt? Well, I guess you're used to it, so maybe not." It especially annoys me when a different person says the second part. It's like they think that they know how I feel, that they can tell people what it's like.

You don't get used to it. The hurt lessens a lot, and sometimes you stop thinking about it, but the pain doesn't ever really go away. Sometimes my lancet is dull and on too high (how I love you, easy-to-move dial - NOT) and I nearly cry when it goes in because it feels like it's going to go through my finger. Sometimes my site ends up on a nerve and every time I touch it for the next three days I wince. Sometimes my number is way out of wack and I don't know why or how to fix it. Sometimes I need to talk, need support. Sometimes I want everybody to shut up. But I try not to tell people that it does hurt, because everybody thinks I'm brave and can deal with this just fine. There are some days that I just can't.

Yes, it's gotten much better in the last two and a half years. And I'm great with it, most days. It's just that when this comment comes up I want to yell and scream and list off everything that I'm not used to about this disease. Like that I'm still not used to the fact that this is never going away.

(Diabetes Blog Week) Fantasy Diabetes Device.

Today's prompt really sets up some ideas: Today let’s tackle an idea inspired by Bennet of Your Diabetes May Vary. Tell us what your Fantasy Diabetes Device would be? Think of your dream blood glucose checker, delivery system for insulin or other meds, magic carb counter, etc. etc. etc. The sky is the limit – what would you love to see?

I love my pump. I don't think I would change anything about it, especially now that it's sherlock-tuned. But my meter...
I don't like my meter. At all. I use it because it links with the pump and that's a useful feature, but I really want to use a different one - without having to log all my blood sugars, because a computer printout is easy, if not to understand.

So here's what I would want in a perfect-world meter...

• Colour. Like the pump, I would love it to be colourful, because silver is drab.
• Contrast. The screen on my meter is like an old-fashioned digital clock. I can't read it in the dark, sometimes not even after I turn on the in-screen light. (The new ping meter has a contrast screen, but I can't get that one for another few years).
• Light. At the end of the meter, where the strip goes. So that I could check in the dark without having to blind myself with the big light.
• Size. My meter is huge - it's bigger than my pump. And while I appreciate all that it does, I wish it could be smaller. Like my old AccuChek Aviva - that was tiny. And cute. I like that.
• Cooler case. Other than black. Like the pump cases. Also one that could be inconspicuous, maybe that I could clip to my hip when I don't want to carry a purse.
• Accuracy. Because sometimes, I don't believe my meter.
• Although this might be stretching it a bit: A message feature, so I could for example ask my friend if she has juice. That would be cool.
• Options for sound. Like the option to stop the beeps (and maybe replace it with something more fun? Like it could sing Sherlock every time I checked...)
• A pager. A tiny little pager inside it, so that I could just press a pump button and I would be able to find it. (Actually, everything in my life needs one of these.)
• Connection to the pump. Not for bolus - although that is useful - but for blood sugar reports. Right now I can plug in my pump and everything comes up.

That is my dream meter. Everybody talks about accuracy being the first thing on their list, and I guess that's important, but please don't think of me in a bad way when I say colour comes close to the top. I want my meter to look good because when it's pretty, I enjoy using it. (I'm not as shallow as this makes me sounds. Promise.) But I figure, if I have to live with this thing anyway, it might as well look good.

But I guess I'll continue using the one I have. For now. Although lately my eye has been caught by the IBGstar and the VerioIQ - anyone know anything about these?

Fresh start. And a goodbye.

My Little Buddy is gone. He will be mailed back to Animas today.

R.I.P., Little Buddy.

But you know what? My new pump is gorgeous. None of these silly little scratches. (And his brightness button works!) Nope, he's sleek, shiny, looks like a phone, and plays sherlock theme  music.

That wasn't a typo. Sherlock. Theme. Music. Yes.

I think I'll get along fine with my new buddy. I just have to get to know him - for the moment his name is Jim (I think. It doesn't appear to be working though. Ideas?).

And it would appear he's more effective - the first thing that happened last night after I'd been on him for a little while was I went low. Interesting.

Anyway, with this new guy - at least for a little while - I'm going to make an effort to use him, like I said yesterday.

Yep. Goodbye Little Buddy, but hellooo new guy!

New.

My new pump came today. I haven't set it up yet because frankly, that would mean I have to think. (Well, I suppose that's my excuse. I don't want to leave my Little Buddy.)

It's black and very pretty. It has yet to come out of the box.

I suppose I should get off the internet and go do that before Little Buddy actually dies.

*Sniff*.

Although I was very impressed with Animas' service. They phoned at quarter to 11 and the pump was in our hands (well, my mum's - I was at school) at quarter after 12. That's impressive.

Anyway. I'll miss him, but I'll be good. (I just have to admit to myself that they are not animate.)

And now my new pump needs a name...

(Diabetes Blog Week) One thing to improve.

Today's prompt: Yesterday we gave ourselves and our loved ones a big pat on the back for one thing we are great at. Today let’s look at the flip-side. We probably all have one thing we could try to do better. Why not make today the day we start working on it. No judgments, no scolding, just sharing one small thing we can improve so the DOC can cheer us on!


One thing. Only one? Hm. There are a lot of things that I could be doing better. But one thing to focus on today... *thinks*
I am going to pay attention to my pump. I tend to forget that he's there, that I can use him to help me control this. So I will whip him out to bolus before I eat, as soon as I see an out-of-range number, use him to count the carbs accurately, and, because I'll miss him when he's gone, I will try not to run him into walls. I will also bolus what he says I should and not what I think I should.

He's there for my benefit. So one thing I could improve on is use him to my benefit.

(Diabetes Blog Week) One Great Thing.

Here's today's prompt: Living with diabetes (or caring for someone who lives with it) sure does take a lot of work, and it’s easy to be hard on ourselves if we aren’t “perfect”. But today it’s time to give ourselves some much deserved credit. Tell us about just one diabetes thing you (or your loved one) does spectacularly! Fasting blood sugar checks, oral meds sorted and ready, something always on hand to treat a low, or anything that you do for diabetes. Nothing is too big or too small to celebrate doing well!

I am not perfect.
And that is a hard thing to admit to myself, because I am a perfectionist.
Right after my diagnosis I was doing everything on time, checking BGs all day (with perfect results), and only treating lows with juice, even changing lancets every so often.
But now, not so much. I forget to bolus, to check, to stop eating when I'm low. I also scrape or bump my pump more than once a day - that probably doesn't help in the fact that he has to be replaced. And I only change the lancet when it starts to hurt because it's dull.

One thing that I think I do well, though, is I don't worry.
It used to be that if I went to bed lower than 7 (126), I would freak. Now I'm good, even at 5 (90). (If it goes lower than that, I worry a tiny bit.) When I'm high, I correct it and go on with things.
If it's big, like my site gets ripped out and I can't get home for the next four hours, or I run out of insulin and I have none to replace it, then I worry. (But there's other times when it's just hilarious.)

But I try not to let the little things bother me. And that's important in day-to-day life. That's my one great thing.

(Diabetes Blog Week) Find A Friend.

Here's today's prompt: It seems the most popular thing about Diabetes Blog Week is that it helps us find blogs we weren’t reading yet and connect with some new blog friends. With that in mind, let’s kick off Diabetes Blog Week by making some new connections. Think about the d-blogs you read that you think we may not know about and introduce us to one that you love!! Let’s all find a new friend today!

I don't read a lot of diabetes blogs. I read Six Until Me, and occasionally a few that link off of there.
I read all my friends' blogs, but none of them are diabetic and they never post anything anymore.
So really, I need to get more involved in the DOC (Diabetes Online Community).

When I started this blog, I really didn't expect anyone to read it. The only thing on here was a presentation that my teacher thought deserved recognition. And thus began this blog.
At first, I thought out, planned, and edited each and every post. And I only posted things that were huge; the presentation, the story, the WDD awareness. But since I made that promise to myself, I've been using this as a medium to express myself. No planning or thinking - just being who I am.
I don't have a lot any DOC friends because there are very few teens with diabetes who blog. Our lives are just too full of ourselves. :P
I'm also one of those silent lurkers who doesn't comment on anything but still wants to be recognized. But now, I feel like I'm starting to come out of my shell. Participating this week was a big leap.

So I need to find some friends. And hopefully this week will let me do that.

Actually, looking back at this post before publishing it, I realized that maybe I have found one friend. Kerri, at Six Until Me, inspires me every day and is an awesome role model. Her blog was the first real-people diabetes-related thing that I read, and I've never gone back. So although she may not know it, she is a really good friend. Thanks.

And because I am going to find a friend this week, here's a list of all the D-Blog Week participants.