Other people.

Confession: I spend some time on the internet. (Who doesn't?)
Particularly on sites where people post funny things, like Unfriendable and Taste of Awesome. I thought, the other day, that I should search 'diabetes' to see if there were people out there.

Obviously I am not alone. Two posts from different sites found me and hit me so hard that I laugh-cried. Here they are:



So true. So, so true. (Similar secrets can be found at sixbillionsecrets.com).

And this other one made me giggle and realize that I really am NOT alone.

Dear guy next to me,

Thanks for telling off our teacher when she didn't believe that the buzzing sound was my diabetes pump and not my phone.

Sincerely, your new best friend.

(dearblankpleaseblank.com). Awesome site.

By the way, though, don't search 'diabetes' in any of these sites' search boxes unless you're prepared to be mad. Most of the posts are about how 'eating too much sugar will give you diabetes.' Particularly directed at Cookie Monster. Argh.

Anyway, just wanted to share these awesome online tidbits. If you're the person that posted one or both of these, thank you. You made my day. And to everyone who feels alone - you're not. :)

What is that infernal beeping noise?

My battery died at 11 pm last night, and it reminded me of the time that my battery actually, fully, kicked the bucket. I remembered the post I had written and, in light of my new promise, decided to post it here.

***

Alarm. Buzz.
The uncommon sound of the alarm alerts me and I glance down at my pump. Warning: Low battery. Sigh. I confirm it and lock the pump, remembering that the last time when I did that my Little Buddy was still going strong six hours later. I don't give it a second thought.

Half an hour later
Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep.
I press all the buttons in an attempt to shut him up.
Beep beep.
The screen's gone black and my Little Buddy's not responding, except to continue warning me that something is wrong. Beep beep. I try to ignore him, thinking that I'll deal with it later.
Beep beep. The whole classroom full of people is looking at me now. "What's that noise?" "Umm...it's my pump. I think it's dead." Entering slight panic mode now.
I get permission from the teacher and I go to change my battery (amid relentless, annoying beep beeps). Thankfully, I did have a battery wiht a little juice left in it. (The problem was procuring the coin, but I'll get to that later.)
Untwist the battery cap - beep beeoop...silence.
Insert new battery - beep beep. Nooo!
Chirp.
I breathe a sigh of relief. He's ALIIIVE! I feel like Dr. Frankenstein for a moment.
Of course, my Little Buddy has decided to reset all his settings. I guess at the time (no clock in the gym changeroom? What?) and - thanks to the advent calender - punch in the date. (I still don't know why the year changed back to 2007).

So, long story short, I found out that my pump can die. Like actually, truly, comatosely, die. And that he WILL let me know when he has died. And also, thankfully, that he is revivable.
I'll give that half-hour battery warning more of a thought next time. And I'll put a coin into my glucometer case. :-)

To any of you who have had difficulty submitting comments: I'm sorry. I didn't realize it, but the blog settings wouldn't let non-google members comment. My bad. It should be fine now, so feel free to comment! On anything! :)

P.S. The title had an inspiration - if you don't know immediately what I'm talking about, you should check out this video. It's pretty awesome.  

Promise.

I'm going to post here more often.
This time I mean it.
Nobody may hear me, but this helps my voice to be strong.

Highlights!

I'm going to camp this year!!!!
Alright, I know that it's not until July, but I'm already so excited. What's 4 months, really? It's not that long...
But anyway, I am going to camp for two weeks! AND I am already confirmed to be roomed with my friend! WHAT COULD BE BETTER?
If it wasn't really obvious, life has gotten better since the last post. (Ignore the sad feeling of that post. It was socials class. I hate socials class. Enough said.)
I'm already reflecting on the memories I'll make, the people I'll meet, the things I'll learn. Can't. Wait.

And Z, if you're reading this - I can't wait to see you again! Shakespeare!
(If you're not Z, then just dismiss it with a wave or a shake of the head. Or a sigh. It's an inside joke. :P)

Negatives? Or positives?

Life seems to be very drab as of late.
It feels like I'm going through the motions - Poke. Needle. Bolus. Poke. Poke. Bleed. Correct the number.
I just want to sigh and make it go away.
I don't know what happened. It used to be okay, but now it's like it's too much. Like I would do anything to get rid of it.
I had a competition with a friend, and that was SO much fun. But then it kind of fell apart. It's like I'm lost now.
School is incredibly boring, and that's not helping much. I need something, anything, to make me smile, to give me some hope.

Part of this is that I probably can't go to camp this year. Looking forward to it and then being told that your dreams have been crushed is a dissappointment, to say the least.
But why am I dwelling on the negative? I'm fine. I'm good. I need to look at the good things, like I say everyone should do. Like the perfect number in a batch of bad ones. That's always good. A laugh with a friend.

Maybe I just need something else to think about other than...SHERLOCK! (Giggle)

Anyway. I'm good. *Goes to laugh with friends.*

Rockin' the blue: WDD 2011

Today is World Diabetes Day (WDD)!
I went full-out blue today to encourage awareness. Blue jeans, blue shirt, blue smiley earrings (well, one was yellow, but still...the idea was there), partially blue socks, blue hoodie...completely blue. Oh, and the crowning blueness: a blue ring necklace that I found! I was ecstatic. I mean, can you get any more perfect?

Anyway, so today rocked. Oh yeah, blue nail polish too. I tried to do blue circles on white, but it didn't work. Ah well - there's still the rest of the month. Oh, and the year after, and the year after, and the year after...

Because this post looks too short, here's another poem. (I've been writing lots of poems lately...not sure why...)
This one is loosely based on my diagnosis, but it could be whatever.

Feeling

Crying, crying
Not knowing what to do
Alone, alone
So small in a big world
Scared, so scared
Not knowing how to feel
Questioning, questioning
What to do, what to say, why me?
Sad, so sad
Fragile as glass
Angry, angry
Why me? Why me?
Depressed, depressed
Just want it to go and stay away
Convinced, convinced
I will live my life and I'll be just fine
Knowing, knowing
That nothing will ever get in my way.

Just a random blurb that was jotted down on a random piece of paper at the back of my binder. I thought it seemed appropriate to put here.

Thanks for reading and putting up with my random poetry (which I hope you enjoy)! :)

Imagine.

Imagine having to poke a hole in your finger ten times a day, every day.
Imagine being attached to a metal box 24/7. Don't like that one? Imagine instead having to stick yourself with needles at least four times a day, every day.
Imagine never being able to go anywhere without sugar and a bulky glucose tester.
Imagine having to tell people that you weren't normal, that there was something that set you apart.
Imagine that you had to be on your guard all the time.
Imagine having to refuse some things sometimes, like candy and active games.
Imagine that all this was a reality.
Imagine knowing that you would never be able to live without this reality.

Now, imagine that this was all okay.
Imagine that you aren't different, that you don't have to deal with this all the time.
Isn't that a nicer picture?
Now, imagine that you could help us make this into that nice picture.
No, don't imagine it.
Make it a reality.

You can help us find a cure.
November is diabetes awareness month.
Spread the word.