Walking for diabetes. Well, more like fundraising.

I always thought that it was silly, really, to call it a 'walk' when the point of it is to get money.
But whatever gets the most, I guess.

Anyway, the walk is this Sunday. That's three days. And up until yesterday, I had six hundred dollars in my fundraising account - which is awesome.

Now, I have $1253 and my team has $1303.

I am nearly in tears because I'm so happy. That much money means a lot to a lot of people.

So thank you SO MUCH, everyone, because every penny helps.

You can find my fundraising page here, if you'd like to see it.

Thankyouthankyouthankyou, everyone. :)

Sick.

I have ketones.
I haven't had ketones since I was diagnosed.

So many times I've wished that I could just be sick like a normal person - real people sick - just deal with this fever how you would normally deal with a fever. I wish I didn't have to worry about blood sugars or eating right or waking up in the night to deal with unruly sugars.
And we had to get out the book I got when I was diagnosed, the book full of words and numbers that didn't make sense then. The book that we haven't even had to think about for ages.
And on top of all this I don't really know how to deal with a fever because the last one I had was when I was seven and I had some sweet grape medecine and it was all fine. But now I'm going between being so hot that I'm sweating in normal temperature and being so cold that I'm curled up under a duvet shivering. My stomach is growling because I'm hungry but I don't want to eat. I wish that all this would just stop.

But I know that I can do this, and that it'll be over soon enough. I just have to deal with it minute by minute and I'll be okay.

Oh, and on a better note: This is my 50th post!

Nonsensical.

I have been at camp for the weekend. Not diabetes camp (35 days!!!), but nonetheless a camp full of friends (but not diabetic ones.) Anyway, I found myself saying a few weird things, and friends ended up joining in.

One friend decided that she didn't like the word 'bolus'. Which is a pretty weird word when you think about it and/or say it more than once. So now, apparently, 'bolus' shall be known as 'insulate'. Or maybe 'inducilin'?

And juice can taste like low blood sugar. There's one particularly exotic flavour of juice (it's tropical punch or something of the sort) that I have only had once before this weekend. That time happened to be a 11pm low (one of those times when I downed the juicebox in 10 seconds flat). So I'm drinking this juicebox at lunch and say 'Hey, this juice tastes like low blood sugar.' Yeah. I didn't really bother explaining.

I got to do a bit of advocacy, and that was cool. (Explaining that no, it didn't hurt, no, I'm not used to it, no, I was fine, no, it's not a real needle, etc, etc.) But the most important thing was that I had fun, ate about six WagonWheels (Best. Junk food. Ever.), and I didn't let diabetes stop me. And I conquered my fear of canoes.

*I am really, really tired. Hence the title. :)

It's not always the cookies.

I remember bits and pieces of when I was first diagnosed.
Never the whole story all at once, just little random tidbits that don't make sense without context. Like milk with a straw, the nice nurse, and the teddy's fuzzy head.
And the cookies.
My first blood test was in the morning, before school. As said in my stories (here and here), I wasn't taken to the hospital until late at night. I rember the first fingerpoke - the one they took just to make sure I had diabetes like they thought. (It hurt. Darn monstrous hospital machines.) The result was 26 (468), much higher from the 15 (270) of the morning. I remember insisting that it was only that high because I'd had two Girl Guide cookies after school and that I was fine, nothing was wrong. That I could go home, that it was all a mistake.
(Of course, then they tried to explain to me that it was because of diabetes, not the cookies. I didn't believe it for a while.)

Sometimes I have to tell myself that it is because of diabetes, not because of something I did. "I'm low? Must have overbolused." "High? Must have misjudged." No. Sometimes it's just random and there's nothing I can do.
On the contrary, sometimes it is something I did. Maybe I did overbolus, forget to bolus, guess instead of read the carb count.

But no matter what made it happen, I just have to deal with it. And I'm okay with that.

Hm.

Last week - Diabetes Blog Week - was fun.

I've never really written from such specific prompts. It was really neat to see what I could come up with.

But now? I have nothing to say. I can't think of a single interesting thing.

Bubbles (pump) is no longer completely bright and shiny. I guess wearing him on the pocket of my jeans instead of the waistband will do that.
But he's still very bright and shiny and sleek and gorgeous - minus a few invisible screen scratches.
And he still plays Sherlock music.

And Sherlock is over, so that's really all that's on my mind right now. If you watch it and haven't see The Reichenbach Fall - go watch it. If you don't watch the series - go watch it. All of it. You won't regret it. :)

December 2013. I wonder if I can survive that long. XD

(Diabetes Blog Week) Diabetes Hero.

The final prompt: Let’s end our week on a high note and blog about our “Diabetes Hero”. It can be anyone you’d like to recognize or admire, someone you know personally or not, someone with diabetes or maybe a Type 3. It might be a fabulous endo or CDE. It could be a d-celebrity or role-model. It could be another DOC member. It’s up to you – who is your Diabetes Hero??
Heroes are not always muscular guys in spandex and capes. Sometimes they're 945-year-old time lords, sometimes they're high-functioning sociopaths. (Sometimes they're high-functioning-sociopaths's hetero-life partners.) (Sorry.)

Okay, seriously.

When I think of diabetes heroes, I think of everybody in the DOC, everybody that isn't afraid to share their life online. The good days and the bad shared, the blog posts that show that not everybody is perfect. Especially Kerri, whose blog I look at every day for smiles and inspiration.

And then I think of everybody that reads this and supports us, even if they don't understand.

And then there's my parents. They're the ones that wake up in the night to test me, the ones that run to the drug store and buy me strips when I'm out. They're always, always there for me, even if I'm in a teenager-angsty-mood.

And then I think of my doctors, who are super cool. They seem to understand, and even if they don't, they know how to help me.

And then I think of camp. Camp. Is. Amazing. I look forward to it every day, and it's shown me that there are a lot of people who deal with this all the time, people my age who DO know what it's like.

And then I realize that everybody, EVERYBODY, is a diabetes hero. Whether they live with it or deal with it, nearly everybody knows someone. Everybody I know tries to be an advocate, and that in itself is heroism.

So thanks, everyone, for being my diabetes heroes.

And thanks so much, Karen, for organizing this week. This is the most fun I've ever had on this blog.

(Diabetes Blog Week) Saturday Snapshots.

Alright, I was not prepared for this. Just so you know.

But anyway, here's today's prompt: Back for the third year, let’s show everyone what life with diabetes looks like! With a nod to the Diabetes 365 project, let’s grab our cameras again and share some more d-related pictures. Post as many or as few as you’d like. Feel free to blog your thoughts on or explanations of your pictures, or leave out the written words and let the pictures speak for themselves.

This is my diabetes.

Diabetes is the random bits and pieces you find on the floor of your room.

  

Diabetes is all the strip containers that you've collected because they are awesome replacements for the now-hard-to-find film canisters.

Diabetes is all the warm and fuzzies from camp that you can't help but smile at. Every time. (They're inside jokes. It's okay.)



 Diabetes is all the cool contraptions and boxes that you kept when you were first diagnosed because they were a little bit of 'hey, this could be cool' that helped you deal with this new life.



Diabetes is a perfectly organized drawer with all your stuff in it. (Not. I tidied it up last week so I could see what was in it. :P And yes, that is a frog.)



Diabetes is the garbage that you find on your headboard after dealing with middle-of-the-night scary things. (Lows, empty cartridge alarms, and dead batteries. Fun stuff.)



Diabetes is the shiny new Bubbles (yes, now Bubbles, because Jim was a bit creepy) that sits on your hip and (to your great pleasure) has no scratches or un-shiny patches [yet].

Diabetes is the piece of paper that you wrote every single setting down on when you switched pumps. Yes, a whole piece of paper.

 And finally [for now], diabetes is the yellow shirts (which will have smileys on them) that you get to make your whole team wear at the Diabetes Walk.

I completely forgot about this and found all these pictures in the space of ten minutes. It's amazing how the little tiny things that make up diabetes are everywhere.