Happy Mother's Day.

To all the mums of T1s out there, but especially mine,

Thank you. You're always there for us.
When we run out of supplies, you'll always run down to the drugstore to grab some.
When our pump malfunctions, you'll be the one on the phone trying to fix it.
You're always the one spending hours trying to figure out basals, boluses, and numbers.
You were the ones that cuddled us when we cried at our diagnosis.
We know that you will always be ready.

Have you seen the 'Thanks mom' commercial? "She's the hands. She's the feet. She's the body without a head." It's like that. You're not always in the forefront of our minds, but you're always, always there for us.
Whether it's with a hug, a smile, or a middle-of-the-night blood sugar check, you're always quick to help.

So thanks, Mum. You're the best.

How in the world did I forget?

It was Little Buddy's birthday yesterday. And I completely forgot.
I guess that it just goes to show how little I think of it, how far back diabetes is in my mind.
Which is a good thing, I guess, except I felt really bad when I remembered.

And apparently I need a new pump because there are many unfixable problems with my lil' bud. This just about breaks my heart - did he decide to die because I forgot to acknowledge him?

He's not gone yet and I'll hold him until the very end. For the remainder of our days I shall cherish him and when he is finally gone there will be a moment of silence.

And then I'll go on with my life with a new buddy. Who will need a new name. And a new colour - blue, black, or silver? (Or I might even consider green or pink?)

(There was a certain amount of sarcasm here. The thing is, I'm not sure how much.)

Anyway, happy belated birthday, Buddy, and you will be missed.

Diabetes Blog Week. With a side of courage.

Next week is Diabetes Blog Week. I've heard of this before - in passing - and never had the courage to participate. (Drumroll please) But this year, I will. I have just signed up and I'm looking forward to posting with prompts.
I realised that I may as well be as out there as I can be, because this blog is part of my voice. And advocacy is a good thing - but I need to be more courageous to be an advocate. So I will.

I heard about this through Six until Me (which is really the only place I learn diabetes online stuff from). I'm eager to write, because that's one of the things I like to do and am fairly good at, and the organizer knits - so really, how bad can it be? :P

If you'd like to participate, or even if you just want more information, it's here.

And now I'm off to school, to see my friends once more! (It sounds much better if you think of that in a 'We're off to see the wizard' tune. Like our song at camp that I wrote with my friend: We're off to see the doctors/the wonderful doctors of camp...' ) :)

Pressure. And talking to inanimate objects.

Wow. There are actually people seeing this. And it makes me feel...important, like that total strangers actually care. So thanks, everyone, for really boosting my self-confidence.

Except now I feel that I should be like the 'model teenage diabetic', because it feels like people are examplifying me (which makes me feel super special!), like that this will matter somehow.
But you know what? I'm just going to be myself, because making yourself out to be someone you aren't is never a good idea. :) So if you see anything ridiculous on here, just smile and realise that this is me and nobody can do anything about it. (And also realise that right now I am completely obsessed with Sherlock and I am not seeing an end anytime soon. Fellow Sherlockians - unite! And if you're not one of us, you should be. :P)

And now for our feature presentation...

(This is what I actually planned on posting about).

I hate it when my pump decides to spontaneouly empty its cartridge. I mean, 10 units lasts a long time. I never remember after the low cartridge warning has gone off.

So here I am, sitting in front of the computer, accidentally stumbling upon amazingly hilarious stuff (Sherlock-related, of course) and my pump decides to buzz at me. And it's not even the pretty music that I set. No, it has to be an annoying 'na na na na-na na'. Monotonous. Bor-ing! (Coulda got them anywhere! Tee hee) Anyway, so I tell it to shut up. Out loud. Because that's what I do. (As I say, he's a him.) And after this happens multiple times (the internet stuff was funny - I love the internet. But hate it. At the same time.) my mum thinks it's funny. I don't really realise that I'm talking to an inanimate object - he's like an annoying friend that just deserves a  'shut up' face.

Yep. I've been telling my Little Buddy to shut up for the last half hour. And everybody thinks it's absolutely hilarious.

Walk.

To cure diabetes, that is. I signed up today for the Telus JDRF 2012 Walk to Cure Diabetes. This will be my third year participating and my second as part of a team, Maryna's Smiles. My fundraising goal is $1000 and the goal for the event as a whole is 7.9 million dollars.

Every penny counts, so much so. JDRF is helping with research and now human clinical trials to find ways to cure, treat and prevent diabetes.

Please pass this on. If you would like more information, here is my fundraising page: http://jdrfca.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=144818

It's not just the money, but the advocacy as well.

Thank you to everyone out there. I know now that there are people reading this because the hit count jumped to 1015. (!!!) Thank you so, so much for listening, for helping my voice, and the voice of diabetes, to be strong.

And one last thing - I need something to think about besides Sherlock. :) Any ideas?

And I was so happy...

Diabetes portrayed on TV is usually bad. (With some exceptions - there's these three posts about Body of Proof :P). The aforementioned was the last diabetes-related show I'd seen, so I was happy.

Until I saw Touch.

Amazing show - DON'T GET ME WRONG. I won't explain it - too many numbers - relatively cohesive explanation here. Kiefer Sutherland included. :)
Anyways, last week's episode (maybe? I'm watching it PVRed) made me sad.

Guy, unconscious, on the floor. (I thought he was dead for the whole commercial break). Main character (Kiefer) finds him. Calls 911, then the last number on unconscious guy's phone. Phone-guy tells Kiefer that unconscious-guy is diabetic. (Hope blossoms). Of course, when phone-guy says "Syringe in fridge..." I'm thinking glucagon, right? Nope. "There's a syringe of insulin in the fridge. Inject it." GRR! Kiefer does, in the forearm no less, and unconscious-guy wakes up. Right away. We flip back to him after a character switch (multiple points of view on this show) and he's perfectly fine, the paramedics leave - no hospital visit - and then, formerly-unconscious-guy is seen drinking juice. Perfectly cohesive a healthy - wow, it's like the diabetes just dissappeared! (I wish!)

Why?!?! TV was on such a good streak. :(
Ah well. I'll just go watch Sherlock and practice my Moriarty. (Two days!!!)

(Sorry for all the brackets. :D)

More sense.

A lot of things make more sense when you do them twice. Like Sherlock. (Amazing TV show. Watch it. BBC orignally, everywhere else as well. New season Sunday. CAN'T. WAIT. Also, all the male actors manage to be incredibly amazing, made more so by their sexy english and english-irish accents. Gotta love it.) Anyways, it's a show that you really have to pay attention to. And when you watch it again you see all the important little details, like the chinese ninja-like lady spies taking sneaky pictures. (1.2. The Blind Banker. Not the best).
I digress. My point is that the more you are around it, the more sense it makes. School. Math. A new language. Friends. Boys. (Actually, that one's quite a stretch. And they complain about us women?) Facebook, too.
But diabetes? Nope. As soon as you think it makes sense, there's just another twist that makes you rethink the whole thing. Even after two years, there's no way to predict it, no way to control it perfectly, no way to remember everything. (Like insulin.)
Yep. No more sense here.
Now, excuse me as I go back to watching the most amazing show ever made.