Accuracy.

A lot of the time, diabetes portrayed on the TV screen is not accurate. They almost always end whatever scene it may be with the 'you'll never be okay' kind of thing. But once in a blue moon, there's one show that gets it right.

Body of Proof. It's a coroner crime show - the kind of thing I like. I never really watched it (there's lots of other good stuff), but my parents do. My mum told me that I should watch an episode that was on the PVR because it had something I would appreciate.

I watched it. There was a diabetic element - the lead character's daughter is diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Although I wouldn't know as well as some people, they showed DKA very well and they did focus a bit on the events leading up to it (for example, missing the nail when you're hammering it into the wall). The best part, though, was at the very end. The girl is awake, scared, and confused. In a tear-jerking scene, she asked her mother how she can have diabetes. "I'm not even overweight! And now I'm going to go blind, and lose my legs..." (Sidenote: Don't quote me on this. It's just a jist.) The mother then tells her that that is not true. "Forget everything you ever knew about diabetes. Those are misconceptions. Type 1 is something completely different. It's a completely manageable condition."
The fact that they made an effort to show things right makes me incredibly happy.

It's a show that I will be watching from now on.

Endnote(s): The episode was called 'Identity', about two girls in a car accident. The awesome scene is near the end, at about 40 min. Apparently on live TV (I watched a recording) they showed a JDRF-endorsed PSA. If anybody can find it to watch somewhere, I'd love to see it.
We're not sure if the actress who plays the daughter (Mary Mouser) is diabetic - some people yay it, others nay. *Confused*.
There was only a few points of inaccuracy - apparently she had an insulin pump the next episode (still must watch). The timeline on TV shows is often skewed though, so that's okay. The only other thing that bugged me was her blood sugar - they said it was 450. It's an American show (set in Philadelphia) so I assume, using the divide by 18 rule, that her sugar was 25. I thought that DKA sugars were much higher? I was diagnosed at 26.something, with no DKA, so I don't know if it's just me or if they mixed up. But it doesn't matter - it was so accurate and happyfying, I just want to see whatever they come out with. I hope that this plot element remains and actually becomes part of the story. That would be cool.

Vampire cannulas and broken tubes.

The tube on my Little Buddy is not something that I usually notice. Of course, when it catches on doorknobs and pulls my site out, it's the first thing I yell at. (I hate doorknobs.) But usually, it's just there, a soft, twirly, long tube of plastic.
There are some times when I do notice it. For example, when I pull out my site because it's sore and the cannula and tube are full of blood (vampire-like):

It's really funny, when you think about it. "I have a vampire on my arm!"

The next picture really needs some explaining.
Let's set the scene: I'm in art class with a friend. We're making tape sculptures with packing tape, which means that we have to cover our partner with inside-out tape (kind of like the mold you put plaster into). I'm lucky enough to be the model for the torso.
As we get halfway down my hip, I wonder aloud if I should take off my pump. "Nah. It's too late now anyway."
So, I end up wearing shorts made of tape. (Sidenote: Don't ever do this if you can help it. It's rather uncomfortable.)
My friend starts to cut down the side of the shorts. At this point I begin to hurry her - it's very warm when you're wrapped in plastic. Oh, the useful things you learn at school. Suddenly, she pulls away, a look of horror on her face. "Did I cut your pump?" I don't really know what she means, so I shake my head and urge her to continue. As she cuts farther down the side, I notice a plastic string with an end. The tape is the same colour as the plastic, so it doesn't click yet. It's not until I see another end poking out that I realize. "Is that my tube? It is! Oh my goodness!" I start to giggle.
As she finishes cutting me out, she keeps apologizing profusely. I wave it off. "There's only an hour left. Just don't let me have any more chocolate!" *Giggle*.
I join the tubes with tape, which makes things even funnier. I joke at my friend that if I go high later, it's her fault. She looks so sorry, I feel bad immediately. She doesn't seem to find it funny. I do.

So, my pump tube got chopped in half. And it was hilarious. And none of my school friends understand my diabetic humour.
I later emailed my camp buddy this story, and she laughed too. You guys worry too much.

I've started noticing my pump tube. It's amusing me. :)

Fail.

I have never left my pump behind. The farthest he's ever been from me is when I'm in the bathroom and he's in my room (having disconnected for a shower). There's been the odd time when I've forgotten that he's suspended, sure, but the alarm always reminds me eventually. I've heard of people forgetting their pumps at home while going somewhere, but I thought 'That'll NEVER happen to me.'

Alright, so it wasn't to that extreme, but today, for the first time, I forgot my little buddy.

I had disconnected to change (I don't do it all the time - today was a special occasion) after school. No suspension, so no alarms. Little Buddy ended up being covered up with various things - you know, the things that end up on teenage girls' bedroom floors. Clothes, school stuff, paper, pens, etc. Anyway, I was not feeling completely on the ball (not a great day today) and left him in my room. And I went downstairs. It's funny, but I didn't even realize the missing weight. (That kind of makes me happy - it means that I don't think about it all the time).

At suppertime (about two hours later) I check my bloodsugar. It doesn't say anything about not being connected to the pump, and it doesn't even cross my mind. When I go to bolus (after dinner - I really need to start/continue/think about bolusing before), I reach down to my waist to start pushing buttons. He doesn't hit my hand automatically, as usual. When he doesn't seem to be within two inches of my hand, I end up patting all around my waistband trying to find him. (I was tired). No pump. It's only then that it hits me - he's still upstairs. It's almost like an obstacle course getting to him - there's chairs and stairs and walls in the way. Anyway, I find him, reconnect, and kick myself for forgetting him. But I was surprised - after two hours of no insulin, you'd think I'd be higher than 11.2 (201 mg/dl).

So, today I found out how small a part of my life diabetes is. It doesn't influence the way I have fun, the way I listen to music, the way I [forget to] do my homework. My Buddy is special, but maybe I don't need to focus on him so much.

But I do need to stop accidentally scraping paint off the walls with his screen.

Little, annoying, things.

Some things in life are annoying simply by existing. Not being able to find matching socks, for example. Little brothers, much as I love them. Pencils breaking just when you need them.

Little things that don't matter in the long run.

But having diabetes, I find that there are more things that annoy me.

Like when people act out the familiar "I don't think you can have this, so I'm not going to offer it to you" scene. I am allowed to eat, you know.

Or "You turned a cookie down once simply because you weren't hungry, so I'm never going to offer you one ever again." People never give me a chance to explain that it's because I don't want one, not because I can't have one.

Oh yeah, then there's the 'Look over your shoulder while you test your blood sugar'. It's not that part that I mind - actually, sometimes it's kind of cool being the center of attention and being able to laugh at the cool things my meter does. ("It sucks up the blood like...like...schuwp!" - one of my friend's favourite moments.) What I mind is when the person looks at the number - especially when I'm making an effort not to be conspicuous about it -  and then looks at me with a panicked expression. "Are you low? Are you high? Do you need anything? Are you okay?" Honestly, if I'm not fazed, then chill. Actually, even if I am fazed, I can deal with it. And if you need to know, I'll tell you if I'm not okay.

I love that people are concerned for me - don't get me wrong. It's just the cloud of assumptions and worries that follow me everywhere that annoy me. Just the little things.

If you're not diabetic, then trying your hardest to understand is the best you can do. We love you for it, and we will tell you if you're annoying us.(Well, I will, at least.) :)

Other people.

Confession: I spend some time on the internet. (Who doesn't?)
Particularly on sites where people post funny things, like Unfriendable and Taste of Awesome. I thought, the other day, that I should search 'diabetes' to see if there were people out there.

Obviously I am not alone. Two posts from different sites found me and hit me so hard that I laugh-cried. Here they are:



So true. So, so true. (Similar secrets can be found at sixbillionsecrets.com).

And this other one made me giggle and realize that I really am NOT alone.

Dear guy next to me,

Thanks for telling off our teacher when she didn't believe that the buzzing sound was my diabetes pump and not my phone.

Sincerely, your new best friend.

(dearblankpleaseblank.com). Awesome site.

By the way, though, don't search 'diabetes' in any of these sites' search boxes unless you're prepared to be mad. Most of the posts are about how 'eating too much sugar will give you diabetes.' Particularly directed at Cookie Monster. Argh.

Anyway, just wanted to share these awesome online tidbits. If you're the person that posted one or both of these, thank you. You made my day. And to everyone who feels alone - you're not. :)

What is that infernal beeping noise?

My battery died at 11 pm last night, and it reminded me of the time that my battery actually, fully, kicked the bucket. I remembered the post I had written and, in light of my new promise, decided to post it here.

***

Alarm. Buzz.
The uncommon sound of the alarm alerts me and I glance down at my pump. Warning: Low battery. Sigh. I confirm it and lock the pump, remembering that the last time when I did that my Little Buddy was still going strong six hours later. I don't give it a second thought.

Half an hour later
Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep.
I press all the buttons in an attempt to shut him up.
Beep beep.
The screen's gone black and my Little Buddy's not responding, except to continue warning me that something is wrong. Beep beep. I try to ignore him, thinking that I'll deal with it later.
Beep beep. The whole classroom full of people is looking at me now. "What's that noise?" "Umm...it's my pump. I think it's dead." Entering slight panic mode now.
I get permission from the teacher and I go to change my battery (amid relentless, annoying beep beeps). Thankfully, I did have a battery wiht a little juice left in it. (The problem was procuring the coin, but I'll get to that later.)
Untwist the battery cap - beep beeoop...silence.
Insert new battery - beep beep. Nooo!
Chirp.
I breathe a sigh of relief. He's ALIIIVE! I feel like Dr. Frankenstein for a moment.
Of course, my Little Buddy has decided to reset all his settings. I guess at the time (no clock in the gym changeroom? What?) and - thanks to the advent calender - punch in the date. (I still don't know why the year changed back to 2007).

So, long story short, I found out that my pump can die. Like actually, truly, comatosely, die. And that he WILL let me know when he has died. And also, thankfully, that he is revivable.
I'll give that half-hour battery warning more of a thought next time. And I'll put a coin into my glucometer case. :-)

To any of you who have had difficulty submitting comments: I'm sorry. I didn't realize it, but the blog settings wouldn't let non-google members comment. My bad. It should be fine now, so feel free to comment! On anything! :)

P.S. The title had an inspiration - if you don't know immediately what I'm talking about, you should check out this video. It's pretty awesome.  

Promise.

I'm going to post here more often.
This time I mean it.
Nobody may hear me, but this helps my voice to be strong.